A Day In The Life Of An Average Joe

24th May 2012

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Holy Shit Tumblr!

How the hell have you been. I have been busy writing and I have been severely been ignoring all my internet buddies I miss you all and I’m pretty sure you went on with your lives and let me just say… HI it’s me, I missed you, you look great did you get a hair cut? No. Not there silly. Down there? Yep that hair style very slimming on you. Unless you are a man and in that case I say GOOD COCK to you on this fine evening sir. My the wind be ever at your back, and your eyes ever upon sweet tits. Wow so I’ve been watching way to much Game of Thrones lately. I know I’m late to the party on this one and I apologize. But I was busy. Oh and if you haven’t been watching then what in the seven hells is wrong with you?

I should say that I’m going to try and start journaling live on the Internet every day or something in this blog but I’ll never do it. I’ll get busy and forget my password or something which still happens to me on the internet by the way. I was busy trying to get laid during internet times of my highschool days. Oh and did I forget to mention I was the kid that didn’t have internet in my house till I moved out. Yeah I just remembered that fun fact when some people got into this nostalgia conversation about AOL chat rooms. I never got to experience that kinda shit. All my internet time in those prepubescent teen years on the internet was spent with some old as shit libarary lady over my shoulder or some computer lab teacher. Ha ha I might have to write a bit about that. By the way that’s going well. At least I think it is. Gotta start doing more standup. Well probably do more once I’m done at Second City. Well much internet I shall see you tomorrow.

23rd October 2011

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Bridezillas is the new Jerry Springer

    This is the only way that I can explain the way I feel about this show.  My wife DVRs this show so sometimes I’m in the room while she is watching it.  These women are some of the biggest bitches I have ever heard of and the fact that they think they can talk to family and friends the way that they do leads me to believe that people these days are truly spineless. I don’t care how long I have been friends with some one or how long I’ve been dating you, if you want a slave,emotional punching bag, or someone to validate your very existence then I’ll break it off at the drop of a hat.  The old saying fits the situations on this show perfectly.  “With friends like this, who needs enemies?” In a perfect world the failure rate of these relationships would be 100%.  Heaven forbid that these women breed and then have an episode of some shitty show they can show their daughters some day. Real women DON’T need to depend on other people that they basically want to turn into verbal abuse slaves.

    These women talk to their own family and soon to be spouses like they have no idea how abusive they sound.  I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that most of them never act that way usually, but because the cameras are there they want people to think they are the badest bitch around.  The truth is weddings aren’t that hard you can just go to the court house and save a lot of time.  The size of your wedding ladies is usually dictated by just one person, yourself. My advice as a married man to all of you ladies out there. If you are getting stressed out about your wedding do one of three things.  #1 Downsize your plans simple is better sometimes, all you really need is parking, food, and music.  #2 Is this the right person to be married to? #3 Find out how the other person reacts under pressure if you don’t think it is a rational amount or if they seem to be overreacting to everything then you should probably just let it go.  Marriage is hard and it takes a lot of work.  Don’t sign up if you aren’t ready.

12th September 2011

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High Ya Pals.

So I have been thinking of starting yet again for probably the third time in all my Tumblr history to start posting and blogging a lot more then usual.  We see how long it lasts this time and I wonder how personal I should get, I always wonder who reads these things as i know that I don’t have the time to read blog posts myself.  But I need to write everyday in order to truly empty my head before bed.

So Here it goes good people the life and times of a jack of all trades but a master of none at least that’s the problem I have been running into lately.  So last December I tried stand-up comedy for the first time at felt at home for the first time in my life.  There were no rules, in fact rules be damned,  well except for this one lady who didn’t want us to say fuck at her venue, which actually helped me in the beginning I think.  You know who you are lady.  But that aside I could talk about what ever I wanted to which for some one like me I found very freeing.  The stand-up has been going well but recently I took some time off to write for a Sketch comedy show with my wife and a few of our friends including one of my fellow comics.  Who actually was the host my first night of stand-up ever. Her name is Kat Rybarski. 

In the years to come hopefully we will be regaling each other with stories about how she more recently suggested taking classes at Second City to me and in doing so created a monster.  Walking into that building a couple of weeks ago changed my life and I have only one person to thank for that cause I never would have gone by my self I don’t think.  I grew up being told to write the check not earn the check with no direction or support on how to achieve such a lofty goal.  But as I look back on the past 15 years of my life the one constant has always been the writing I have notebooks full in my house of  my brain diarrhea.  Book Ideas have always been common amongst them but I found my true voice I think when I tried to write comedy for myself and now others to perform.  I know now how hard it is to start off on the road to completing your goals but this is one thing I can’t and won’t walk away from.  For Kelly and Seth’s sake because I don’t know how much my life style over butter over to much bread can last. 

So with all of that emotional bullshit said I will be using this platform to express my hopes and dreams and daily frustrations to all of you beautiful people.  Oh and I love answering questions.  So feel free and see if I answer it.

Peace, Love, and Laughter,

Average Joe